The Way It Could Have Been
by Petey
Summary: Pre-season 5. Scully is with her cancer. While on a local case, Mulder can't help asking her if she wishes things were different.
1. Default Chapter

Title: The Way It Could Have Been  
Author: Petey )  
Rating: PG  
Synopsis: Mulder begins wondering about the way things could have been. _Hey, if friends could do it, so can the X-Files._ I like to think of this as the episode that never made it in S4 because it was too corny.

Jubilee Park   
March 7, 1998  
9:10pm  
  
Jo-Jo rose from her couch and sauntered into the kitchen. She had been staring blankly at the fish tank for almost an hour, having nothing else to look at. The same song played continuously from her PC.  
  
It was her first week alone in the new apartment. She hadn't been able to find a roommate. It was something she had planned to do before moving out, but her friends bailed at the last minute. Living with someone she didn't know felt unsettling, the thought of meeting someone new and becoming good friends sounded nice. It was the matter of trust that made it hard for her to find a roommate.  
  
"Empty" she muttered, closing the fridge.  
  
It wasn't really empty, it just didn't have anything she wanted. It wasn't like home anymore. Any food in her house was carefully selected for each meal she would have to eat until next pay day. She made a mental note to account for midnight munchies next time.  
  
Tonight was going to be another early night. She had found she had been getting a lot more sleep now that she had the privacy to go to bed whenever she pleases, have a shower, go out, come home at any time she wanted without question. She could do without the phone calls from mom.  
  
She took her pills and turned out all the lights.  
  
1:04am  
  
It was an easy break-in, a hot summer night and an old house with old windows with nothing to hold them down. The man dropped into the living room silently and headed for the bedroom. He was at ease now, knowing the light he had seen on was the fish tank. The bedroom door was already open. He stood at the door way and watched the sleeping figure. He licked his lips and watched.  
  
Just watched.  
  
The figure stirred in bed, the thin sheet tightened around her and showed the curves of her body.  
  
The man's breathing shallowed as he watched her sleep. His eyes glistened red, reflecting the light from the digital cloak on the night stand. He crept closer to the foot of the bed and watched.  
  
Just watched.  
  
Jo-jo woke from her dream and saw him standing there.  
  
"Oh my god!" she screamed and jumped back. Her arms flailed and hit random things off her night stand. The digital camera hit the floor and set the flash off. The quick burst of light lit up the man's face in an eerie blue glow. Her head banged against her headboard and she clutched her chest.  
  
"Shhh." He tried to soothe her. "Go back to sleep"  
  
She continued to clutch her chest, unable to scream anymore.  
  
The man knew he had been caught. He left using the same window he has used getting in.  
  
--End--


	2. Investigation

FBI Headquarters   
Washington D.C.   
March 9, 1998  
9:20am  
  
"You ready?" Mulder asked.  
  
"I've been ready for years" said Scully.  
  
Mulder smiled and turned on the projector. It was time for work, time for business, time to pretend that nothing is wrong. He and Scully had just been through their morning routine of coffee, bagel sandwiches, and more recently –making sure Scully was feeling okay. He hated asking, because he hated seeing Scully have to lie to him. She always replied with a big "I'm fine" while looking down at her bagel sandwich. He hated asking, but he did it because he wanted her to know that she shouldn't be afraid to talk to him about anything. As much as it panged him to think about it, he remembered how much harder it must be for Scully.  
  
"Mulder?"  
  
"Hm?" He looked at Scully and her eyes quickly flashed to the projection screen. He had skipped the first slide. "Oh, sorry. I uh. That one didn't matter. It was more like an intro picture."  
  
"It looked like a body to me."  
  
"Really? I usually start with an intro picture."  
  
"Nope. Body."  
  
Mulder fiddled with the projector sheepishly and reversed the slide.  
  
"Okay, here we go." Mulder stood up straighter to begin his presentation. "JoAnne Sycamore, age 20. Lived alone. She was found her mother who was worried because her daughter hadn't answered the phone in over a day. Time of death was put at about 20 hours."  
  
"Cause of death?" Scully asked.  
  
"Heart attack" Mulder stated simply with a shrug.  
  
"A heart attack? Mulder she's a slim 20 year old."  
  
"I know, weird huh?"  
  
Scully was trying to think of a possible condition that might bring on a heart attack in a young, fit person. Mulder answered her question before she could come up with anything.  
  
"She had a kind of heart condition. It caused pompitations. She was on drugs to help regulate her heart rate. I guess they don't work under extreme conditions."  
  
"Rape"  
  
"No signs of rape. In fact no signs of any struggle except for an upset bedside table."  
  
"Well, she could have knocked that over herself in a desperate attempt to get help. Why this would be anything to promote a criminal investigation is—"  
  
Mulder switched the slide.  
  
"This was found at the scene. It's a digital photo taken, by the time the camera gave 12:04am. It's consistent with the estimated time of death. What do you see Scully?"  
  
Scully looked at the slide. She could see the edge of a bed with sheets matching the ones from the police photos of the girl lying in bed, and a large foot, a black sneaker and dark jeans standing beside the bed.  
  
"There was a man there."  
  
Mulder nodded.  
  
"But there was no sign of rape?" She was surprised.  
  
"That's right. Which would be consisted with reports of a man stalking the area, known for breaking into homes and watching young woman sleep. Five cases in 4 months. It's also possible that there are more victims out there who haven't come forward, or who may not even have known he was in their house. He hides in the darkness of their bedrooms and doesn't say anything. Even if they wake up, he just splits and goes out the way he came."  
  
"He doesn't touch them?"  
  
"Well not yet."  
  
Scully crossed her legs and rubbed her neck.  
  
"We both know what this could escalate to. We have to find him before watching them isn't good enough anymore."  
  
She raised her eyebrows and shook her head, agreeing with him. There was something sarcastic about the way she responded.  
  
"Unless this is too much for you. That's okay, Scully."  
  
"Mulder, I'm fine. It's local anyway. No planes, no rental cars, no hotels." She knew what was on his mind "close to my doctors," she assured him. "I need you to stop worrying. I need you to know that I know I can talk to you anytime about anything." Then she joked with him a little bit "I just hope you can handle to responsibility. I might not show it, but I can be pretty needy."  
  
Mulder drew his hand along her hairline, feeling its softness against the back of his hand. "I can handle anything. Anything you need, I'll be there."  
  
"I've got your number." Scully said, getting the last word in. It was her new fail-proof way of keeping a strong face on.

* * *

_It will get better, I promise. I think I know where I am going this, but we will see how it plays out. I will try to get to the point next time. -Pete-sa_


	3. Come Up

Jubilee Park   
10:43am

Mulder pulled up in front of the small white house. It wasn't hard to find seeing as it was the one surrounded in yellow police tape. Scully got out of the car first and crossed the street.  
  
"Where are you going?" Mulder got out and pocketed his keys, following her.  
  
Scully stood in the middle of what looked like an old driveway. The land was flat and filled with overgrowth. The area was swampy and smelled bad. Scully scrunched her nose and began breathing out of her mouth. "Pretty cool hangout spot," she walked over to the other side of the paved surface where a willow hung over, its eaves long enough to touch the ground. Scully stepped inside the curtain and called out "Cigarettes. Someone's been here."  
  
"I think a lot of people have been here." Mulder observed charred wood from an old fire, beer cans, and other assorted garbage.  
  
Scully began bagging each cigarette butt individually. "Let's see if these are all from the same person or not." She looked at the little white house through the bushes. It wasn't exactly across from the lot they were in, but up the road just a little bit. "Mulder?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Can you go inside the house and look out the front window? I wanna try something."  
  
"Sure." Mulder could see what she was getting at.  
  
He crossed the street and jogged across the lawn and up the stairs to the front door. Scully watched and took out her phone, dialing his number she waited until she could see him in the front window and hit send.  
  
"Mulder." He answered.  
  
"Yeah, it's me."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Can you see me?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, I can see you."  
  
"Oh yeah? What am I doing?"  
  
"You're standing with one hand on your hip, pulling your coat away to the side."  
  
"What am I doing now?"  
  
"You're uh, you're, ew Mulder grow up!"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I'm coming over there." Scully hung up her phone.  
  
"I'm not doing it for real."  
  
Mulder put away his phone when he realized Scully wasn't on the other line anymore. A few moments later she came in the front door. He was still standing by the window.  
  
"So what are we looking for?" Scully asked.  
  
"Anything police may have missed. If we can match the DNA from those cigarettes to anything found in the house then we'll know this was all premeditated. He was watching from over there until the time was right."  
  
"Is this her bedroom?" Scully opened the door to a large empty room at the front of the house adjacent to the living room.  
  
"No, her room is the one down the hall over here." Mulder led them to a smaller room at the back of the house. "Nice two bedroom place and she picks the smaller one."  
  
"I can see why she picked this one," crossing her arms she faced him and explained "More privacy from the hallway, when she comes out of her bedroom she's not stepping into the main stream of the house. Not to mention it's right beside the front door, it feels safer to be at the back, plus the back faces west, so the sun won't come streaming in at 6am. And it's closer to the bathroom."  
  
"I would have picked the large room. I thought it was a closet until you opened the door."  
  
"The other room was empty. She didn't have a roommate?"  
  
"No, she lived alone. But I can imagine she was looking for one. She may have placed an add in the paper."  
  
"There's a Washington Post in the car."  
  
Mulder and Scully sat in the car. Scully watched over Mulder's shoulder as he looked through the classifieds "roommate need. Jubilee Park, clean, quiet, reliable, preferably student, female. 555-1043" Mulder read aloud and handed the paper to Scully. "That's her. If the suspect saw this add he may have answered it. And it could be how he knew she was alone."  
  
"There may also be some record of him being here, or calling. Mulder we should get these down to the crime lab," she waved the baggies she held in her hand. "We'll be able to get a hold of some phone records there too." Scully buckled her seat belt, ready to go. Mulder folded up the remaining newspaper and started the car.Scully Residence   
10:43 pm  
  
Mulder hadn't expected it to be such a long day, and he hadn't wanted it to be a long day either for Scully's sake. She had trouble staying awake in the car the entire way home, under any normal circumstances she would have let herself fall asleep. But now falling asleep would be showing weakness.  
  
"Do you want to come up?" Scully asked before he could when they pulled up to her building.  
  
Mulder kept the car running and shook his head. He wanted more than anything in the world to go up to her place. He didn't want to be a phone call away, he wanted to be able to be in the next room, only steps away from her when she needed something, and it wasn't just that he was worried all the time. He wasn't worried, worried wasn't the word he was looking for. He wanted to be there, he wanted to be around her all the time, he hated even having these thoughts, but she may not be around one day.  
  
Mulder spoke before his thoughts completely overcame him, "I should just go home, you need sleep", the words buried the lump he had in his throat.  
  
"Mulder, I don't mind. I don't want you to leave. Going home and worrying all night about whether or not I made it up the steps okay, or that I didn't fall in the shower, or trip and bang my head while I was putting on my pajamas." Her voice was soft and sincere the whole time, but Mulder could tell that she was making fun of him.  
  
"I don't mean it like that, when I ask to come up all the time."  
  
"How do you mean it to sound?"  
  
"I mean it to sound like I miss you when you're not around."  
  
"You never missed me before."  
  
"I did. I did miss you before. It's just now it's different. Before I missed you, but I knew I would see you again tomorrow, or next week, or in a few hours. I can't, I will never accept that one day you might not be there tomorrow."  
  
"Mulder, that won't happen. I'm not going anywhere, not any time soon."  
  
"It will be too soon."  
  
"Mulder, I'm not going anywhere, because you can't live without me, so I have no choice." She smiled and rubbed his back and leaned in closer, "God will just have to understand that I need to stay here and watch over you."  
  
Mulder forced a smile and cupped her face in his hand, he gently rubbed her cheek with his thumb. Scully brought her hand from his back and placed it on his hand. "Come on, turn the car off."

* * *

_Oh, I'm getting there. I am hoping nobody will be upset when I leave the investigation part behind, because I am finished with that. Now we go into MSR. --Pete-sa_


	4. The Way It Could Have Been

Mulder leaned against the doorframe of Scully's apartment while she sifted through her keys looking for the right one to open her door. Scully found the right key for the lock and swung the door open. Mulder went in and took off his coat, draping it over his shoulder. He waited for Scully before sitting down.

Scully took off her own coat and hung it up beside the door, Mulder simply laid his over the arm of the couch and sat down.

"Do you want anything?" Scully asked, being a good host.

"No, thank you", Mulder said looking back over his shoulder. He said no, but he knew that Scully was going to make two of whatever she was making and bring him some anyway.

In minutes Scully was sitting beside Mulder on the couch, both sipping from matching mugs.

"Are you happy now?" Scully asked.

"Are you happy?" Mulder replied seriously.

"I meant are you happy to see that I'm okay. I got inside my building safely, the elevator didn't crop out, I didn't get dizzy and pass out in the hall."

Mulder was hurt, he hadn't meant to burden Scully so much with over protectiveness. His behaviour was selfish. He knew it was selfish, but he didn't know how to change.

"Mulder, you have to stop worrying about me so much, it's making me worry about you."

Mulder felt even worse now, knowing the extra strain he was putting on Scully.

"I'm sorry Scully. I guess I'm just not ready to accept it yet. I think mostly because I feel like I am to blame for everything that's happened to you, in your life since we met."

"Mulder I don't blame you for what's happened to me, for everything that has happened or will happen. It's no ones fault. I chose this life."

"Do you ever wish you had made different choices?"

"Well that's a silly question to ask. Mulder, why ask that? Even if I had made other choices who is to say I'd be any happier."

"So you aren't happy, you just said it."

"Mulder, I am happy. As happy as I can be and as happy as I need to be."

Scully put her mug down on the coffee table, Mulder did the same with his. The soup inside had gone cold. Neither of them hadn't eaten much of it, Scully noticed Mulder hadn't had any of his. She folded her hands in her lap and leaned back against the cushions.

"I just think sometimes about how much better your life would be if you had stayed in medicine. If you hadn't joined the FBI, or if you even just hadn't been assigned to the X-Files."

"Mulder, I wouldn't miss this life for anything, I wouldn't trade it for any other life. I've had a good life, I like knowing where I am, knowing where the choices I made have brought me. I like thinking about where else I could be if I had made different choices. Things could have been worse, we don't know."

"How could things be any worse, Scully"

"We might not have met."

Mulder looked back at Scully, she smiled.

"Scully, if we hadn't met you wouldn't be sick right now. Your sister would still be alive and you would never have been abducted."

"You're only focusing on the negative, Mulder." She took his hand and used it as leverage to lift herself from the back of the couch. She sat up beside him and he put his arms around her.

"There's too much negative," Scully nodded in agreement and rested her head on his shoulder and Mulder rested his chin on top of Scully's head. "Do you ever think about the way things could have been? If we had met under different circumstances?"

"Knowing each other under different circumstances would not be the same. Mulder, our lives, our line of work, all the life threatening situations and close encounters has created a bond, a relationship that no one understands. A love that no one understands," Scully blushes from her words. "Love that cannot be defined in words, or explained in any conventional term of the word."

"It's an X-File." Mulder chuckled, relieving the tension Scully had created.

"We think we're unhappy because we lack things that normal people have. You believe I'm unhappy because you feel you've robbed me of a normal life. Mulder, I don't know any other life but this one. I don't know any other kind of happiness, because I'm happy when I'm with you."

They couldn't hide in their embrace any longer, Mulder pulled Scully away so he could see her face, so he could see the sincerity in her eyes. Small tears formed in her eyes from the words she had said, and seeing the reflection of her own feelings through Mulder's gaze, Scully knew he felt the same way.

"You have to stop thinking about the way it could have been, Mulder."

* * *

_kiss her! kiss her you fool!  
-Petey- let me know what you think_


End file.
